Oh, Sonny.

Sonny:	Do I have to tell you again that I don't hit women?
Alexis:	Well, but you do call them bitches and whores.

Snicker.

I get the feeling that this scene where Sonny tells Morgan that Jax is basically going to be his new dad is supposed to be gut-wrenching and sad, but holy cow, Maurice Benard’s acting is so bad.  I’m laughing so hard.  Call me heartless, but whatever.  MAH SON!

Great.

Carly just asked Jax to adopt Morgan.  Now we’re in for weeks of Sonny yelling, “MAH SON!” again.

The World According to Jason Morgan

So let me get this straight.  Apparently cops are THE EVIL and mobster murders are good and virtuous and trustworthy.  Never trust Dante, Kristina and Molly, because he’s a cop!  But listen to mobster hitman Jason because even though he kills people, he’s not evil!

Gotcha.

And did Carly, Jason and Sonny ever consider that they’re the ones responsible for messing Michael up?  Yeah, probably not, because this is all Dante’s fault.  And Lulu?  She’s bad, too, because OMG she sides with Dante and therefore the law.  THAT’S BAD.

The people of Port Charles make my head hurt.

So when Sonny and Jason took Michael and hid him on that island, did they only give him one shirt to wear?  Good planning.

Why does Bobbie Spencer look like Octomom now?

Hold me.  I am frightened.

Oh, General Hospital

Was Ethan’s hair flat ironed today?

Why is Sonny talking with the judge’s thick southern accent today?

I HAVE NEVER HURT A WOMAN IN MY LIFE, HOOOOOOOOONEY.

/dies

SHOCKER: GH's Drew Garrett OUT, Chad Duell IN as Michael Corinthos III →

Say whaaaat?  I think Michael is a total psychopath, but Drew Garrett was really, really good at playing him as a total psychopath.  Hopefully he moves on to bigger and better things that don’t involve him saying “I KILLED CLAUDIA!” in 742 different ways every week, because the kid is pretty darn talented.

Kristina getting beat up by Kiefer is totally going to make Sonny go on and on about how wrong it is to try to solve problems with violence, isn’t it?  Because when Sonny shoots you, it’s out of love.  Totally different.

/facepalm